your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
