Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
