sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
