If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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