I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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