Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.