I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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