I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
