At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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