I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
