I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
