Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
