We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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