if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You need a sexual gate keeper
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
