I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
