It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
