My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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