Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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