I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize