Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
