i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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