he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
