First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
