So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize