can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
