It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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