Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
