I feel like abortions should bother me more
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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