six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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