I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
