I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Help. Why am I so naked?
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