Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
