I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
