OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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