does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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