He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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