remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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