we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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