He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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