The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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