ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
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matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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