Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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