so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
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So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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