For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
