stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You pole danced in your parka.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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