I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
