TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
