im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
