What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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