So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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