Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
