I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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