Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
