i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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