Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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