Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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