Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
