She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
