do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Im just a social blackout drinker.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
