I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
